


Origin

by HufflepuffleMarauder



Series: They went by "The Marauders" [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Cinnamon roll Remus, Family Feels, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, I just needed some Remus angst, Kid Fic, Lupin family feels, Marauders' Era, St Mungo's Hospital, Werewolf
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-26
Updated: 2018-12-16
Packaged: 2019-05-14 02:31:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,553
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14760917
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HufflepuffleMarauder/pseuds/HufflepuffleMarauder
Summary: The night that changed for Remus Lupin was when Lyall made a mistake.That's when the wolf broke through his window and opened its jaws.





	1. Bite

**Author's Note:**

> Hello and welcome to my angsty Remus story! I genuinely don't know how many chapters this will end up being but I've estimated around 6.
> 
> This can be read as a stand alone, but can also be added onto Four Broken Boys.

Remus would always remember that night. It was the night his life changed, and his world became fragile glass. Glass that would often break, leaving Remus to pick up the pieces. He closed his eyes and cast his mind back seventeen years ago.

* * *

 

  
"Daddy there's a monster under my bed!" Remus giggled, seeming to find the joke hilarious.

Lyall looked at his son and smiled warmly at the four-year-old bouncing happily on his new bed. Hope had bought it for him just a few months ago, feeling that Remus was mature enough to graduate from a cot. He made a show of checking under the bed. An extravagant wink and tinkering around for monsters as Remus laughed profusely.

"Hmm." He said while crouched down. "There doesn't seem to be a monster here..." He slowly got up. "But there is a little one... here!" He grabbed Remus and tickled him, making the toddler squirm and giggle.

They both fell onto his bed with Remus still trying to withstand the tickles.

He laughed. "Daddy! You're silly! I'm not a monster!"

Lyall stood up. "You're a little monster because you won't go to bed."

Remus pouted, looking rather cute. "But daddy, I want to stay up like you and mummy!" He wailed.

Lyall pulled the duvet over his son and left the room. "Goodnight Remus." He said firmly.

Everytime Hope was too tired and Lyall put his son to bed Remus would do the same thing. Lyall smiled and treasured it as their bonding time, since Hope already got enough time with their son during the day. And he was such a sweet child, who wouldn't want to play with him?

Remus loved pretending there was a monster under his bed because of the stories Lyall read to him. Remus could already read, but he liked being read to at night when he could just lie down and settle into a deep sleep. The stories would detail brave princes and vicious monsters. Sometimes fantasy muggle fiction (since Hope herself was a muggle) and sometimes other stories Lyall made up himself.

One night, after a particularly bad week at work Lyall put Remus to bed.

"Daddy daddy! There's a monster there!" Remus giggled, and pointed underneath his bed.

"No playing tonight, because I'm going to tell you a story."

Remus quickly fell quiet and tucked himself in, attentive.

"There once was a shepherd boy who was bored as he sat on the hillside watching the village sheep. To amuse himself he took a great breath and sang out, 'Wolf! Wolf! The Wolf is chasing the sheep!'

The villagers came running up the hill to help the boy drive the wolf away. But when they arrived at the top of the hill, they found no wolf. The boy laughed at the sight of their angry faces.

'Don't cry 'wolf', shepherd boy,' said the villagers, "when there's no wolf!' They went grumbling back down the hill.

Later, the boy sang out again, 'Wolf! Wolf! The wolf is chasing the sheep!' To his naughty delight, he watched the villagers run up the hill to help him drive the wolf away.

When the villagers saw no wolf they sternly said, 'Save your frightened song for when there is really something wrong! Don't cry 'wolf' when there is NO wolf!'

But the boy just grinned and watched them go grumbling down the hill once more.

Later, he saw a REAL wolf prowling about his flock. Alarmed, he leaped to his feet and sang out as loudly as he could, 'Wolf! Wolf!'

But the villagers thought he was trying to fool them again, and so they didn't come.

At sunset, everyone wondered why the shepherd boy hadn't returned to the village with their sheep. They went up the hill to find the boy. They found him weeping.

'There really was a wolf here! The flock has scattered! I cried out, 'Wolf!' Why didn't you come?'

An old man tried to comfort the boy as they walked back to the village.

'We'll help you look for the lost sheep in the morning," he said, putting his arm around the youth, 'Nobody believes a liar...even when he is telling the truth!',

That is the story of the boy who cried wolf." Lyall finished with finality and felt slightly bad at the look of horror on his son's face.

"So, I shouldn't cry wolf?" Remus asked tentatively.

"Well, you shouldn't lie." Lyall established, smoothing Remus' hair over his head. "Especially about monsters under your bed."

Remus at least looked guilty about that. "Is it because a real monster might get me?" He asked, innocent brown eyes gazing up.

Lyall smiled. "No, son. You've got nothing to worry about."

Remus grinned and settled under his duvet, eyes growing tired. "Goodnight Daddy." He yawned.

"Night, Remus."

* * *

 

 

A bright light shined through the window above Remus' bed. It cast a luminescent spotlight over the sleeping four-year-old, making his eyelids twitch. Brown eyes opened slowly, then squinted at the sudden light. Remus blinked a few times, then sat up in bed, rubbing at his eyes. 

 

He uttered a quiet gasp when looking out the window. 

 

There, in the inky black sky, was the moon. Not just any moon, a full moon. The bright, shining circular orb hung in the sky. The scene was so picturesque that it was as if someone had lovingly placed the moon in the sky. Light radiated off it in all directions, lighting up Remus' little face. A soft smile spread across his young features. Remus loved the moon. Every month he would be woken up by the light shining through his window. And every night he would gaze at it. Remus crawled over to the window sill and rested his chin upon his elbows. A content sigh passed his lips. He loved the peacefulness of the night. With no one to disturb him.

 

After a while, his eyes grew sleepy, and he eventually curled into a ball to rest. 

 

Remus had barely closed his eyes when a blood curdling howl pierced his ears. He sat up straight, only in time to see the wolf jump through his window.

 

Pieces of shattered glass were thrown everywhere as Remus ducked for cover. He clutched his ankle as a shard broke the skin.

 

Remus opened his mouth and cried. "WOLF! WOLF!" He screamed as loud as his tiny lungs would allow. 

 

The wolf pounced on his bed as Remus screamed again. It clawed at his favourite books and chewed up his duvet. The wolf was menacing. It looked human-like, bearing large fang teeth, glowing amber eyes and being barely covered in light fur. Remus' eyes were wide in fear when it pounced on him. He let out a scream of pain when the wolf sunk it's teeth into his right arm. The fangs were so sharp and the jaw so strong that he could feel every muscle being pierced through. The wolf must have realised it reached the bone, because it let go at a horrifying crunch. Blood seeped onto his pajamas and Remus' face was wet with tears. 

 

The door bolted open and his father ran in, eyes wild and alert.

 

Lyall whipped out his wand. " _Expulso_!" He shouted.

 

A large explosion threw the wolf off Remus and against the wall. It whimpered pitifully, before jumping out the broken window and into the night. 

 

His mother, Hope ran in, tears streaming down her face. She took Remus and cradled him gently.

 

"It's ok my darling." She cried. "Everything's going to be ok."

 

Remus' arm felt limp, as if something different was traveling through it and all around his body.

 

"It hurts mummy!" He cried, sobbing and unsure of what to do.  
"The wolf bit me!"

 

It was then that the pain had gotten to Remus, and he passed out.

 

* * *

 

 

"... He was bitten..."

 

"... wolf... broke through..."

 

"Poor little boy..."

 

"... monster... cursed for life..."

 

Remus couldn't feel his arm. He squinted through the harsh, unnatural light. He felt dead. Like a poison had been injected into his body and was now roaming freely with his blood. Where was he? These sheets didn't feel like home. He opened his mouth and tried to speak but only a croak came out. This sound alerted his parents, who were nearby.

 

Hope rushed to her son's side. "Oh Remus, oh my baby you're awake!" She breathed.

 

Remus looked at her and frowned. "Mummy, why are you crying?" He asked, when noticing the tracks running down her face.

 

He turned his head slowly to look at the person on his left. Remus had never seen his father cry, and was astounded to see tears fall so freely. 

 

"Daddy? Why are you crying?" He asked, stronger now.

 

Lyall hid face in his hands. "Oh Remus." He said through his fingers. "I'm so sorry."

 

Remus felt worried. "Sorry? Sorry for what?"

 

A lady wearing white walked into his room. She gave a small, sad sigh and turned away to walk out. 

 

"Wh-what's happening?" Remus asked, growing frantic. "Mummy where am I? Why does my arm hurt so much? Why are you and daddy crying?"

 

He felt tears prick at his eyes. "It bit me! Mummy my arm hurts because the wolf bit me!" He cried, not caring how loud he was.

 

Hope sobbed, she sobbed at the sight of her son so distraught. 

 

Some more people in white came rushing into the room at the noise. A few of them ushered away his parents firmly and closed the door.

 

"Werewolf bite." One said to another. "Such a shame."

 

Remus couldn't understand. What was going on?

 

"Daddy help! It hurts! My arm hurts so much!" He wailed through broken sobs. "I don't know what they're saying! Help me!"

 

A man in white came with a potion and forced it down his throat. Remus choked and coughed violently. He continued sobbing until he succumbed to the potion.  

 

"It hurts." He whimpered, before falling into a dreamless sleep.

 

* * *

 

 

His arm ached.

 

Like someone had cut into the flesh.

 

And ripped a piece out.

 

The blood coursing through his veins felt... different. It felt warmer. If felt stronger. It felt thicker.

 

It felt wrong.

 

Remus opened his eyes and squinted at the glaring bright light shining down at his face. The bed sheets felt rough and nothing like what he was used to. All he could smell was chemicals. Harsh potions and chemicals burning his nostrils. He tried to move his head to the side, but it was too heavy. Remus closed his eyes again and recollected his memories.

 

He could remember the moon. Yes. The beautiful moon. Shining an ethereal light through his window. 

 

Then the window shattered. Remus involuntarily flinched thinking about the harsh sound of glass breaking. He tried to picture the monster that broke it, but couldn't make it out. All he could remember was the terrifying snapping of jaws and huge, sharp claws. And those eyes.

 

Those eyes were bright. But not in a good way. Not in a way of being full of life and happiness. They were bright with malice. With blood lust. Amber. That was the colour. 

 

The door creaked open and Remus tried to sit up. Though the sudden movement made him go dizzy. 

 

"Why aren't you resting?" Asked the healer, with his parents not far behind.

 

"Mummy!" Remus exclaimed. "What happened? I don't understand!"

 

Hope looked at Lyall. He had to tell Remus.

 

Lyall sat down in a chair on the left side of his bed. He ran a hand down his face, withered with tiredness. 

 

"Listen, Remus." He spoke sadly. "Last night, you were bitten, in your arm." He gestured towards the bandage around Remus' arm. "The creature that bit you was a... a werewolf." He managed.

 

Remus looked at him blankly. "But... what does that mean?"

 

"You will transform into a werewolf by the full moon." Lyall had tears forming in his eyes.

 

Remus just stared at him. "I'll be a-a werewolf, forever?" He asked.

 

Lyall nodded.

 

"But I don't... I don't want to be a werewolf!"

 

Hope stroked his hair softly. "We're sorry."

 

Remus caught an earful of a conversation outside.

 

"The boy's a monster now."

 

"And only four! Poor lad."

 

"Oh don't feel sorry for him, he'll turn feral in a week."

 

"His life ruined at such a young age..."

 

Ruined?

 

Monster?

 

Feral?

 

The words echoed round his head cruelly. 

 

He was a monster.

 

He couldn't be trusted.

 

He'd cried wolf.

 

He turned his head to the right and saw a hand mirror. The eyes looking back at him weren't brown.

 

They were amber.


	2. The Forest

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugh, sorry for slow updates, they probably will end up being quite slow.
> 
> Anyway! I hope you enjoy this chapter as I worked pretty hard on it.

The room was dark and smelt odd. The sheets felt rough and the bed uncomfortable. The pillow had gone flat and useless. The pajamas didn't have any buttons and didn't fit him. Remus tried to move his right arm, but gasped when a searing pain hit it. Just to make sure he could still move, he wiggled his toes a little. Then his fingers, and tried to move his arm again. His left arm ached, just like the rest of him. But his right arm still wouldn't move. Remus' mind started to have paranoid thoughts about what might have happened. His breathing hitched when a headache hit him.

Tears started running down his cheeks and soaking the flat pillow. He tentatively lifted the arm he could, and felt the other. A thick, tightly wrapped bandage was wrapped around it. So heavy that he didn't have the strength to move. The bandage was wet, and Remus' fingers came away sticky with liquid. His eyes adjusted to the light slightly, a lot better than usual. The liquid was dark and had soaked through the bandage. He let his hand fall with a dull drop next to him.

 

 

* * *

 

  
Light rays peeked through the gaps in the trees. The grass that sprouted out the ground mingled with daisies, lilies and the occasional daffodil. Where the light shone through there was a clearing. Around it, the trees stood tall and and kind to anyone who wanted to lean against them. A few leaves flaked to the ground off the branches. There was no noise, expected for the chirping of birds and rustling of leaves in the calm wind. The picturesque scene would set any heart at rest.

And that is where Remus found himself. Sitting on the grass amongst the daisies in his usual striped pyjamas. He was leaning against the tallest, most comfortable tree. Basking in the sunlight, he looked around. His hands roamed the ground, content with the tingling of the grass.

This forest was his favourite. It was just outside the village where he lived. Remus always remembered it as being one of the most beautiful forests he'd played in. His mother had been a nature enthusiast when she was younger, and despite having her nose in a book half the time, she always took him out. Remus was sociable. He would love to make friends while on the swings in his local park. Since most other four-year-olds were imaginative, they would enjoy playing together.

After a while, a wolf appeared in the middle of the clearing. Not a villainous wolf. A positively beautiful wolf. It stood majestically, watching him with kind blue eyes. It's fur was thick and grey, and the snout was a cute white. Remus stood up, feeling very in awe of the wolf. He walked, until he was three feet away from it. They both stood the same height, so he could see it's blue eyes. Remus tilted his head slightly to look at it. The wolf did too, so Remus smiled at it. It took a step forward, carefully, as to not scare him. Remus nodded slowly, and raised his hand.

The wolf pushed it's head forward and rubbed it's snout into his hand. Remus stroked the fur through it's eyes, carefully. When it took a few more steps forward, Remus stroked over it's head and the lovely coat of grey fur. The fur was surprisingly soft, and calming to touch. It was nice to feel a living creature in the forest, since there was no one else here.

The wolf sat down and beckoned Remus to sit down with it. Remus yawned, and lay down on a soft patch of grass. He smiled at the wolf. It lay down with him, and Remus rested his head on it's stomach as is curled around him.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

The sudden glaring light hit his closed eyes painfully. Remus screwed them shut. An ache in all his bones his him unexpectedly and his dry throat let out a high wail. Footsteps of people coming into the room made it even worse. And he couldn't stop the scream at someone trying to touch the bandage on his arm.

 

 

 

Remus opened his eyes to the sight of a blurry woman inspecting his face. He blinked out a few tears so he could see clearer. His lips were so dry he could barely open his mouth.

 

 

 

"Mummy?" He croaked softly.

 

 

 

The healer looked at him with pity in her eyes. She tutted and smoothed his hair down a bit rougher than he would have liked. "Oh, poor little boy." She said, and stepped away to let another healer look at his arm.

 

 

 

Remus jerked his arm out of her grip with a sound like a hurt animal. "It's ok, I just need to check your wound." She said gently.

 

 

 

Remus swallowed and opened his mouth again. "Where am I?" He asked.

 

 

 

The healer looked at him. "St Mungo's dear." She patted his hand at his look of confusion. "Don't worry, your parents will be here soon."

 

 

 

Not quite understanding what she meant, Remus shut his eyes and tried to snuggle into the flat pillow that wasn't his.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

Birds sang in the distance and the leaves rustled in the wind. Remus opened his eyes from where he was sleeping. The wolf beneath him stirred and Remus put a warm hand on it's paw. He looked around and, once again, marveled at nature. He felt warm and light. He looked down at the wolf, which was now sitting upright. It pushed it's head against Remus' hand again. Asking for a stroke.

 

 

Remus put one hand on it's head. The wolf smiled at him, so Remus smiled back. He opened up his short arms as much as he could, and encased them around it. His little fingers threaded their way through the thick fur and gripped on to it tightly.

 

 

A low growl alerted Remus and he leaned back to look at the wolf.

 

 

Except the eyes that were looking back at him, weren't blue, they were amber. And the wolf was no longer grey, but black, thin and human looking. It growled again as Remus backed away, frightened. It suddenly bared it's teeth and jumped.

 

 

Remus screamed.

 

* * *

 

  
Remus woke up to the sounds of voices. This time, everything was less hazy. The limp, numbness he'd felt in his arm before was now replaced with an incessantache. He used his other arm to push himself up slightly into a sitting position. Blinking around blearily, he could make out the same room with the same potions and the same bed that was not his.

The door in front of him opened and Remus got a glimpse of a white hallways with people walking up and down wearing equally white uniforms. A man wearing the same thing walked in with his parents. His mother's reddened eyes stopped him from crying out to her.

"Remus," The Healer began. "I see you're awake, very well, I shall explain to you everything."

His parents sat down on the left side of his bed after the Healer conjured two chairs. Remus felt a warm hand take his own and squeezed it for comfort.

"When you were first taken into St Mungo's we explained to you your new condition." She started. "But because of the shock you didn't quite have the chance to process what we were telling you. A werewolf, is what broke into your room that night and bit you. See, when a werewolf bites you during the full moon you become one too, as they inflict the illness onto you." She paused, letting it sink in.

Remus swallowed. He knew what a wolf was, definitely. They were beautiful, majestic creatures that lived in the wild and roamed in packs. The muggle photos he'd seen of them had been black and white wolves captured while conversing or drinking water. They were known to be placid and calm. Remus had always liked wolves. He remembered a painting of a grey wolf he'd once seen in a window of Muggle London. It was in a picturesque forest with sunlight peeking through the tree branches. Remus supposed the artist had been especially talented to capture such a lovely animal. What was so bad? Unless...

The healer carried on. "Since you were brought in here we have discussed with your parents how to handle your situation. You will have to make numerous visits for a very long time, maybe even for the rest of your life. But here at At Mungo's we have potions that you can buy to handle the...the transformations." She managed the word. "For now you must be obedient to the treatment we will be giving you, and don't worry, nothing here is dangerous."

Remus nodded slowly.

A werewolf was different. A werewolf broke his window and growled menacingly. A werewolf had glowing, terrifyingly haunting amber eyes. A werewolf had sunk huge, razor sharp teeth into his arm. A werewolf jumped at him and pushed down on his chest with a huge paw so hard he couldn't breathe. A werewolf was human-like and it went feral at any moment. A werewolf was not the painting he saw in Muggle London.

Suddenly the healer, still speaking had fur all over her snout. She looked at him and bore her teeth with a huge snap of the jaw. He couldn't feel his mother's hand holding his anymore. The room was now gone, and replaced with his bedroom. The window was broken and the shattered glass lying everywhere. He saw the moon, beaming at him in great distaste. Remus turned his head over to the wolf, advancing upon him. He shuffled backwards in a panic and hit his head on the wall behind him. The wolf had cornered him. He screamed, mouth open wide and eyes screwed shut.

"REMUS!" The shriek snapped him out from his bedroom and back to St Mungo's.

His mother wrapped him in her arms as he continued to sob against her. Remus couldn't _breathe_ he was drowning and there was no air. The wolf flashed repeatedly in his mind. Those eyes and those teeth that inflicted so much pain. He could still feel the wolf pressing down on his chest. His lungs were constricted.

A soft, familiar hand stroked his hair just the way he liked it. A soothing voice in his ear _Mummy's here, it's ok, mummy's here._ The air started to thicken. His lungs were no longer in pain. He could breathe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you're liking my story so far. If you are then leave Kudos! If you really want to make me happy (or give me constructive criticism) then leave a comment!


	3. Demons

Hope Howell was a lowly employee at an insurance office. She found it to be a terribly boring job, disliking the monotony of filing and using slow computers. Books, she thought, were much more entertaining. Though in her free time she visited forests, being quite adventurous yet never having lived outside her hometown. It was during one of her forest adventures she met Lyall Lupin.

Then Hope found she was also a Muggle. She was told about the secret wizarding world just a week after Lyall had proposed. Immediately she felt like a child again. All those fairy tales of magic and potions were actually true. It was wondrous (But she was soon corrected by Lyall, having told her of the damage one wizard called Grindelwald did) and she just wanted to find out everything about this hidden world. Lyall had just shown relief to her reaction, saying that some people were disgusted or scared. But she couldn't see how the beautiful sparks erupting from his wand were something to be disgusted about.

The wedding was a small one. With Hope insisting it be magic. It was a whirlwind of tying the knot then finding a small (wizarding) village to buy a lovely little house. Shortly after she found she was pregnant with Remus. Although it probably wasn't the best thing to do, incase he turned out differently, but she really wanted a magic child. Maybe because she wanted them to have the childhood she only dreamed of. Lyall had told her about the wonders of Hogwarts school and how much pride he still held for it. Hope had emersed herself in books about magical history and spells.

When Remus was born she gave him a name she thought traditionally magical. Lyall laughed at her, but liked it all the same. Also insisting his middle name be after her late father, as he never got on with his. She only had to wait three years before he was summoning chocolate from his high chair in the kitchen. It was then that she found his intelligence to be like his father's, and she soon began giving him the Muggle literature books that she so greatly loved as a child. After all, Remus should experience the same blissful fantasy worlds she had.

But everything went wrong when she heard her child's scream from his bedroom.

That is when Hope experienced the horrors of the magical world. Of course she'd read about werewolves when she was younger. Had stories and myths told to her when she was a child. But obviously they weren't real. Weren't true. Until it happened to Remus.

He was such a healthy child. Never getting more than a little cold, and even then he was up and making books float in the air. She'd never imagined him being hospitalised so vigorously. And Remus was always happy. He was usually laughing, or sitting with her while she was reading a book. A little ball of energy that only sat still with a book or when he had chocolate. But seeing him. His tiny little body, so weak and pale in that hospital bed.

It was too much.

Hope sobbed. She sobbed when the Healers explained to her and Lyall what they would have to do with Remus. It was so unfair. Why did it have to be Remus? Why not another child? Hope knew how horribly unfair life could be when he father was killed on the battlefield by Hitler's army. But she never thought that fate could be so cruel to a four-year-old child. Her poor baby was suffering at the claws of fate. She'd never be able to admire the moon again.

After Remus' outbreak the Healers gave him a dreamless sleep potion. Hope pretended not to notice when Healers would have arguments over who had to go into his room. Because this wasn't the time to be angry _but Remus wasn't dangerous._ Instead, she and Lyall made the necessary preparations to take Remus home.

It was now only a week before his first transformation. To say that Hope wasn't terrified was an utter lie. A Healer had come in to tell them that Remus probably wouldn't survive. Hope looked to her husband for a contradiction, but he just put his head in withered hands. The possibility of Remus dying seemed so foreign to her. But it was the same with him being a werewolf.

The Healers sent them off with Remus and five pamphlets about werewolves. They also pulled Lyall aside, and told him that the best option was to release Remus into the wild with a pack of other werewolves. Hope was so shocked she could have slapped the Healer. But resorted instead to glare at her retreating back. Hope held Remus close to her during the Floo ride home to their living room fireplace. She prepared dinner while Remus sat quietly at the table reading a book. Lyall didn't come down when she called. Remus gave her a questioning look. And that's when Hope noticed the colour of his eyes.

* * *

 

 

Lyall tore a book down from it's shelf in his study. It hadn't been moved for years and it felt wrong to take it. He heard Hope call him down for dinner, but didn't reply. They probably didn't want him there anyway. 

 

Instead he sat down and opened the book. It was a study on werewolves. Extremely useful for someone in his profession, a specialist in magical creatures. The first page was the contents. The first chapter was causes and origins of the werewolf. Lyall skipped to the fifth chapter, characteristics of a werewolf. The words had been drilled into his head from a young age, but that didn't keep him from going over them, in case there was a change. 

 

Again, the book said the harsh truth. That werewolves were vicious, disgusting creatures. It was said that after a few transformations they turned feral completely. There were grotesque drawings of werewolf anatomy and the transition between human and wolf. The book also had suggestions for anyone inflicted, saying the same as the Healers. That they should live in the wild. Lyall thought back to Remus and felt sick to his stomach.

 

To think that his once excitable, hyperactive child would turn into a blood-thirsty beast every month was horrifying. Instead of Remus running around like usual he could be dying, from the first full moon. The guilt washed over him as he remembered why this even happened.

 

_"Lupin, this Muggle was found outside the ministry."  Johnston said gruffly, gesturing behind him._

 

_Lyall_ _peered over, seeing a dumbfounded, scruffy Muggle being dragged along by two other employees. He didn't speak, only seemed to be in awe of the magical building he was in. Lyall was ushered over with the man and a few other co-workers. After all, dark magic was spreading across the country and the ministry needed his help more than ever. Which was also a reason why he was asked to join the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures, even though he was only an expert in Boggarts._

 

_They all gathered in a small court area with the man in the middle. Taking a seat at the back,_ _Lyall_ _only looked on._

 

_It turns out the self-proclaimed Muggle had been found a suspect for the deaths of two muggle children a month before. He feigned politeness and innocence with a hoarse voice and a questionable smile. It was a while before_ _Lyall_ _recognised the sharper than normal teeth_ _and scruffy, unkept clothing._

 

_He stood abruptly. "He's not a Muggle." He growled._

 

_Cries of "Lupin sit down!"_   _Were uttered through the room._

 

_"No! Do you not recognise him?"_ _Lyall_ _gestured to the now scared man. "He's an unregistered werewolf! He's the one who killed those children!"_ _He sighed, exasperated when he was given blank looks. "They were found dead after a full moon, don't you see the connection?"_

 

_Witches and wizards around him spluttered in disbelief while the werewolf appeared shocked. "Two children killed!" He exclaimed. "Oh how awful, we never knew about this, they must catch who did it!"_

 

_Lyall_ _held up him hand to silence the werewolf. "The werewolf registry is so badly maintained, he obviously got away with being put down on the list!"_

 

_An employee of higher status who was sitting next to him, patted him shoulder mockingly.  "_ _Lyall_ _, you stick to Welsh_ _Boggarts_ _, that's what you're good at." He said to the amusement of the room._

 

_Lyall was slowly becoming more frustrated._ _"You must keep him in quarantine until the next full moon! I'll prove it!" He yelled angrily._

 

_No one was listening to him. They all thought he was talking nonsense. The two ministry employees who brought the werewolf in had started to escort him out, muttering apologies._ _Lyall_ _was suddenly furious._

 

_"He must be quarantined! Werewolves are soulless, evil and deserve nothing but death!" He cried, his voice echoing off the caved ceiling._

 

Lyall went back to work a week after Remus was bitten, and received the news that the werewolf, Fenrir Greyback, got away. The words he said swam fiercely around his head. To say that he still agreed with his words would be a lie. Remus would not be soulless and evil. The tiny thing did not deserve death. Lyall would never say anything like that about a werewolf ever again. Because his words caused a curse on his son.

 

* * *

 

  
"Will-will it hurt?" Remus asked in a tiny voice.

He sat cross-legged on a solitary bed in the room Hope was about to lock.

"Oh sweetheart, I - maybe." She hesitated, not wanting to lie to him but not wanting to make him terrified. She looked behind her to Lyall for support, but he was turned away, head in hands. "Don't worry Remus. It - it might hurt a little bit but I'm here, and you'll be okay in the morning." That last part was a complete lie and Hope knew it. But how could she tell her four-year-old child that he might die?

Remus nodded slowly, as if understanding everything. He watched her, as the door slowly closed and locked with a loud click.

Suddenly, as though someone had wrapped a vice round his mouth, it started to lengthen. A scream shook his little body, and with his hands he tried to feel what was happening to him. But looking down, claws had already broken the skin on his fingers. He cried loudly, the noises he was making slowly became more animalistic. He fell to the floor as his bones broke with a satisfying crack. Now on all fours, the clothes he wore ripped at the seams, revealing the fur growing underneath. His legs felt permenently bent, they could hardly move. The sensation of his ribs molding to fit the rest of him was horrifying. Finally, he lost his mind.

The werewolf howled at the moon casting a shadow over the house. 

* * *

 

  
Remus opened his eyes and felt the same excruciating ache he had at the hospital. Would it be like this every month? Would that pain go away?

"How long will this happen?" Remus asked croakily.

His mother was still hazy, but he could make out the pity in her eyes. "Oh Remus, maybe - maybe a year or so." She stuttered.

"Oh." His gaze lowered to the floor, and he fell asleep.

Hope stayed by his side while his little chest rose and fell. He looked so at peace when he was asleep, yet the guilt couldn't leave her.

When she unlocked the door in the morning she was filled with elation at him being alive. They'd been told by five different Healers that he would not survive his first transformation. One particularly rude woman told her to start planning the funeral, Hope had never been so taken aback. However, she knew they were right. But she wasn't a good enough mother to tell Remus that he would most definitely die. And if not in the first transformation, the second, the third and any other after that.

For the first time in her life, Hope wanted monotony again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you haven't already read Remus' biography on Pottermore then I highly recommend it.
> 
> If you liked then leave Kudos! If you are a feeling generous then maybe a comment? I am open to criticism.


	4. Mob

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story is going to be the death of me I swear...
> 
> Sorry for the long wait, it took me so long to write this chapter because there was so much I had to put in it, I hope you enjoy!

_2 years later_

  
"Remus? Remus be careful, watch your step!" Hope called out.

  
"Ok mummy!" He replied, carefully stepping over the side of a sand box.

  
There was another boy around his age already in there. He was desperately trying to make the sand stay together, but it was too dry. He became more and more frustrated with it, until he pressed together a little mound with such force. Hope knew magic when she saw it and the magic flowing from that child's hands made a sandcastle before her eyes. His mother, who'd been sitting on the same bench as Hope started to look a little worried. Her hand was reaching for the little stick poking out her pocket.

  
"Oh don't worry, Remus is magic too." Hope assured her quickly before any assumptions were made.

  
The woman visibly relaxed. "I was worried for a second that he'd been seen by a muggle!" She laughed breathily.

  
Hope laughed along with her. "Well I actually am a muggle, but my husband is a wizard."

  
The woman looked interested. "Really? Wow that must have been so weird when you found out."

  
"It was a little odd, but he was so lovely about it."

  
"It's nice that you stayed together, I have heard of other couples separating because their partner never told them they were magic."   
Hope cringed. She was lucky that never happened with her and Lyall.

  
"Oh look, they seem to be getting along." The woman grinned their two sons who were magically making sandcastles and chatting together.

  
She turned round to face the woman. "I'm Hope, by the way, and my son is Remus"

  
She smiled. "Linda, and this is Paul. Do you live in the village just over the hill?" She pointed one long finger over to where the village lay.

  
"Yes! We chose it specifically because it was a wizarding area. Do you live there too?" Hope started to get excited, she hadn't had a friend since Remus was bitten, and she got so lonely sometimes.

  
"We live in that road, you know the one next to the church." Linda peered over to Remus and Paul, who were both giggling over something hilarious. "You know, we should organise some play dates for them, they seem to be getting on so well!"

  
Hope hesitated, then looked over to the two boys. Remus was happier than she'd seen him in a long time. And it had been such a long time since she'd heard him laugh without restriction. Would it be such a bad thing to give her child happiness? He needed to be social, otherwise he'd grow up lonely and unable to make friends. But Lyall's voice told her not to. He'd told her so many things that other wizards believed about werewolves. The prejudice ran deep within wizarding society.

  
Hope scrambled to cover up her pause. "Oh I - I'm very busy sometimes, I'll have to think about it." She cringed, she was always so bad at lying.

  
Linda smiled, though looked a little put out. "That's a shame, Paul doesn't have that many friends you see, he got the shyness from his father."

  
Once again, Hope looked over to Remus and Paul.

  
"You know," She started slowly. "we can probably work something out, I'm sure I can find the time."

Remus and Paul came running back to their respective parents at the call telling them it was time to go. 

  
"Mummy can we come to the park again!" Remus asked excitedly.

  
"Mummy can we go as well so we can play in the sand box?" Paul tugged on Linda's cardigan.

  
"Of course we can!" Linda ruffled his hair. "But right now we have to go home because Daddy's waiting for us." She stood up, holding his hand. "I'll send you an owl." She smiled at Hope.

  
Hope smiled back and sat Remus onto her lap. "What do you think of Paul then?"

  
"He's so funny and we're friends now." Remus turned round to look up at her. "Can he come round so I can show him my rock collection?" He asked innocently.

  
Hope pursed her lips in thought. "I - I don't know honey."

  
Remus looked a little put out. "But - I don't have any friends, so why can't he be my friend?"

  
"I - I'll have to talk with daddy." She said quickly, averting his stare. "Come on now, I need to get dinner ready for when daddy comes home." They stood up, hands clasped and walked back to their house.

 

* * *

 

  
Remus was fast asleep upstairs while Hope and Lyall had a late night dinner. Since he was bitten they both stayed up a little later. Just to make sure.   
"Not hungry?" He gave Hope a concerned look.

  
She paused pushing the food around her plate. "Lyall," She started uneasily. "Remus is so lonely. He needs friends and -"

  
"Love, you know why we can't do this." He reached out a comforting hand and rubbed her arm. "Yes, he is lonely, but I'd rather he be lonely than have to learn about the prejudice wizards hold. Not this young, I want to at least be able to protect him from that." Lyall looked depressed for a moment then sighed. "I'm sorry. But we can't trust that his secret won't be safe."  
She gave him a sad smile as an answer and pushed her plate away to get ready for bed.

__

* * *

 

  
Paul climbed up to the top of the apparatus and sat there. "Come on, it's easy!" He laughed.

  
They were back in the playground where they first met, about a week later. Remus had found himself very bored in the short time he had been away from Paul. Another boy his age had brought some brightness back into his life and Remus felt dull and grey without it.

  
Hope watched them from the park bench, while Linda chatted away in a very one-sided conversation. Before sending an owl saying that Friday would be good to bring Paul to the park on Friday, she'd had a very long internal battle. Lyall had dismissed all her attempts to discus Remus' social life. As a child, they'd both been introverts but still were very socially adaptable. The risk of Remus growing up lonely and isolated was too high and Hope couldn't let that happen.

  
Though just before leaving the house, Hope warned him. "Remus, darling, don't say anything about being a werewolf." She said firmly.

  
Remus gave her a confused look. "But, Paul is my friend and-

  
"Yes but his family might be quite... against your kind." She cringed inwardly at the untactful way she put his condition.

  
"Oh."

  
"Yes but - but that doesn't mean he can't be your friend." She rushed in at the forlorn look on Remus' face. "Don't worry darling, all you have to do is not mention it and I'll sort out the rest."

  
Though at only six years of age, he was very mature about anything surrounding his condition. He bit his lip in thought and then nodded silently, taking her hand and dragging her out the door.   
As Linda chatted away about her husband and his new promotion at work, Hope felt a horrible sense of guilt about lying to Lyall. He'd gone off to work as usual, and she said goodbye with a kiss and no word of where she was going to take Remus in the next hour. If she had told him he would be so angry with her. Their relationship was still strong, but having a werewolf as a child put a somewhat strain on it. Especially considering that (by her calculations) soon they'd have problems financially, Hope worried for their marriage. Due to Lyall's outburst that caused Remus to be bitten (he told her one night after she found him in tears when Remus got a scar on his neck) he'd also been fired from his job. His boss was also quite prejudiced and didn't want to continue to employ him as his son could be "contagious". It meant that he took a very low paying job in the beasts division that was far below what he could do.

  
"So what does Lyall do?" Linda asked, snapping Hope out of her internal conflicts.

  
"Sorry?"

  
"I said, what does Lyall do for work?" She repeated with a smile.

  
"He works for the Ministry, in the Regulation and Control for Magical creatures." Hope lied, feeling that Lyall's previous job was much more impressive than what he did now. "He specialises in Boggarts and Poltergeists."

  
"Oh that's so much more interesting than what Richard does!" Linda gushed. "Working in the Department of International Magical Co-operation sounds rather dull, but he enjoys it nonetheless."

  
"I always wished I'd had a magical job." Hope said wistfully, all thoughts of guilt forgotten. "Before I had Remus I worked in an insurance office. It was dreadfully boring...."

 

* * *

 

  
Paul pointed at the back of Remus' hand, where there was a slightly dirty plaster. "Where did you get that from?" He asked.

  
"My mum keeps the plasters above the kitchen sink."

  
Paul laughed at his ridiculousness. "No silly! I meant where did you hurt yourself!"

  
Remus looked down at the gravel. The ground was suddenly very interesting. He could have examined it for a while if he wanted to, but Paul had just poked him lightly.   
For a fleeting moment, Remus wondered if Paul could keep a secret. "Oh I just, got - got scratched."

  
"By what?"

  
"A - a cat?" Remus had to admit that lying wasn't his strong suit.

  
"Of course. Our neighbour has a cat - and it spends all day in our garden. Mummy doesn't let me near it in case it scratches me." Paul softly rubbed a soothing finger over the plaster. "I guess your mummy didn't warn you enough?"

  
In a way Paul could be extremely wise. Even at the young age of six, Remus could see that. The innocent statement made in a moment of jest made Remus' brain go into overdrive. Perhaps in a weirdly childish way Paul had created a metaphor for Remus' condition. Because yes, he got scratched by a werewolf, and yes, his mummy hadn't warned him about how it would change his life completely. The thought of Paul's metaphor was oddly comforting.

  
It was only a scar. Scars went away eventually.

 

* * *

 

  
The tender yet firecracker friendship Remus had formed with Paul was wonderful. It sounded poetic, but Paul had given him happiness. Yes, he knew that his parents loved him and his mother did everything she could to make him happy. But Paul had given him something to look forward to each week. Rather than bake with his mother or read a book, he could play gobstones with Paul and play outside in the sand pit. For two months Remus lived the (almost) normal life a child should have. He'd found that it felt absolutely amazing to have a friend. It was a new but very welcome feeling. Until that day when everything stopped.

  
The window was smashed deafeningly and glass flew everywhere. Remus ducked into his mother's embrace as she screamed in terror. The glass shards drove into her and cut through the homely blouse. The other parts of their window flew into the walls or dusted the floor. The table also broke in two with a loud thud. After the shock, they both looked up, still in a tight embrace.   
It was Remus who moved first, freeing himself from his mother's trembling iron grip. The thing that had smashed the window and broken the table was a heavy brick. Remus used all his strength to pick it up and examine it. Then he found the single word crudely etched into it.

  
_Monster._

  
Remus dropped it as if it were hot coal, not caring for the echoing sound. He couldn't hear it over the ringing in his ears anyway. Tears started to well up, clouding his vision. A sick knife resided in his stomach and it was getting hard to breathe.

  
A heaving sob and his mother had turned him away and carried him out the kitchen.

  
_"Don't worry, you can trust me."_

  
The destruction of the kitchen, his mother writing a hurried letter to her husband, tear stains on her cheeks. This was all his fault. If he hadn't been so stupid, so naive to have trusted Paul wouldn't say anything then everything would be fine. Remus hugged his legs to himself and started to cry silently. Had he lost his only friend?

  
_"I don't think you're evil, if you're a werewolf then that doesn't change you."_

  
Paul's words had been so comforting, so insightful, so kind. The statement was one that Remus would reflect back on throughout most of his life. It was strange that a young boy could be wiser that most adults.

  
In the moment Paul had given him a small smile with bright, shining eyes. Remus didn't give him a long-winded explanation, just a short truth that Paul had been vying for. And for once in his life his condition didn't feel like a curse. Paul had continued to be his friend, to comfort him and play with him. Unlike the healers at St Mungo's who avoided him at all costs, as if he were a dirty animal.   
The prospect of Paul thinking he was a monster was heart-breaking.

 

* * *

 

  
Remus glared at the cottage bathed in sunlight.

  
It was the mobs. It seemed that the brick was only the start of it, as just one week later there was a crowd of angry neighbours outside their house.

  
Remus hid upstairs to avoid the cries and banging outside. They were all brandished with wands, held up high, ready to attack. His mother had tried to make peace with the first man who hit his fist on the door. This was unsuccessful though, as he whipped his wand out, leaving his father to cast a shield charm and lock the door. Then the others came. Marching and shouting and _screaming_.

  
_"MONSTER"_

  
It was unbearable. Remus had never felt so terrified in his life. This was even worse than the treacherous wait for his first full moon. Even hiding under his covers, with eyes and ears squeezed shut, he couldn't lock them out.

  
_"GET OUT OF HERE WEREWOLF_ "

  
His mother was frantic. She ran around the house, collecting all of the necessities for nights away from home. She didn't know how many possessions they would have to take, or if they'd be able to come back and retrieve anything she'd left behind. Clothes were tossed into a suitcase with an undetectable extension charm and the little money they had in the house went in her purse.

  
_"FILTHY ANIMAL"_

  
Even at the age of six, Remus knew of the prejudice and hate the wizarding population held for his kind. It was hard not to noticed the terrified faces whenever he stepped into St Mungo's. But he'd never experienced anything like this. His parents had skilfully hid his transformations and his tendency to look ill near the full moon successfully for about two years. Though this was all his fault. If he hadn't trusted so easily then none of this would have happened. Tears streamed down Remus' face as the shouts and screams that would haunt his dreams in years to come, continued.

  
The cottage bathed in sunlight was dauntingly beautiful. It was situated in an isolated countryside, surrounded by a picturesque forest. As far as Remus knew, they were the only people for miles.   
Remus walked into the house, leaving his parents behind. He ventured into a few of the rooms, commenting on what was missing that home had. The stairs were more stable than the ones Remus was used to climbing, and led right into a room that he mentally claimed as his. It was small, but the sun shone through and you could get a full view of the forest from the window.

  
Remus looked out the window and felt himself start to cry.

  
Things should get better soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Remus. I always had a headcanon that when Remus was younger he had a friend, but that friend broke his trust after he confided in him, so that's why he finds it hard to get close to people. 
> 
> This chapter really deserves further explanation, and I will get round to that later on in the story. Don't worry, if this goes the way I'm planning it to we might get to see Paul again.
> 
> What do you think? Am I too mean? 
> 
> Once again, I am sorry, I know this fic is being updated so slowly, but quality over quantity am I right?

**Author's Note:**

> It's my personal headcanon that your eyes turn amber when a werewolf bites you. Not bright, they would be quite pale but the colour would get stronger as it gets closer to the full moon.
> 
> "Boy who cried wolf" story is not mine and I got it from this website http://www.storyarts.org/library/aesops/stories/boy.html
> 
> If you liked then leave Kudos! If you want to make my day then leave a comment, I'm open to criticism!


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